she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
