# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
not ubering you a puppy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
