my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
