i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
