Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
