South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Randomize
