i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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