One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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