so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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