I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
