I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
