Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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