i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize