why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
