he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
