Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
