The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
