could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The feeling are messing with the penis
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
