i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
