Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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