so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize