i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
