it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
