I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
