i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
