we have officially lost it.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
