forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
