i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
