So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
