So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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