You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
