She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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