Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
