ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
