I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
