She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
