I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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