so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
