We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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