The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
