I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
