i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
