i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
