We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
