Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
