Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Pants are for mortals
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
