5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
