I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize