a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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