We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
