What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
