I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize