haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
