I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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