I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
