How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
