So gin and wine won't be happening again
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
True strength comes from lack of pants
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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