At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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