Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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