so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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